hopeless.

2009-07-24T20:47:00.002+08:00

I HAVE MOVED TO http://marmardee.livejournal.com/

the tagboard will still be used so tag the board and i will still reply. ahah. okay nonsense.

2009-07-24T17:30:00.002+08:00

i dont know why but ive been a sad wreck all week. at school i'm just my usual happyhappy self but once i'm all alone in the bus i'll be like damn i'm tired. and today i was extra blur like seriously. my mind was like blank during fpqa quiz and i totally heard the wrong thing when kaiying was talking to me. damn, i think i'm losing it.

i need a pick-me-up.

-mardy-

p/s: you don't choose who you fall for.

2009-07-21T19:56:00.003+08:00

okay so uh my blogger account like got something wrong like that and half of the page has dissapeared man. then cannot centralize then my post all so the very the not nice anymore. alamak funny issit.

omg omg. my brothers have a new science tutor. i shant say anymore because its just wrong to crush on your brother's tutor no matter how yooung or good looking he is. like damn girl damn.

ahah. ok ah must go do my powerpoint for my art history presenation kay.byebye you all my darlings(okay random i know but sesunggunye whatever kay.)

-mardy-

p/s: firi, i dont know whassup with me saying sesungguhnye.

cyclops

2009-07-19T18:43:00.004+08:00

i am one eyed omg like seriously.my eye hurts like hell and its swelled up like an ugly red balloon. and i look like like i have droopy right eye. damn girl. ohmygod how am i supposed to go to school tomorrow?? i dont wanna wear contacts cos confirm will hurt like what sia and i dont wanna wear specs either cus i'll end up looking damn retard!

and guess what? i went to this wedding thinking like yayy! free briyani because i was so craving for briyani then when i reached there with my high heels and slack dress with just powder on my face and FREAKING WEARING SPECTACLES, i realized it was my dad's friend's son's wedding.which meant that the whole freaking place was filled with CIVIL DEFENSE OFFICERS.eh perangai mangkuk seh.eh malu like what okay. amakk. there were like mat mat CD all over. depan belakang kiri kanan.

ehh seriously my eye HURTS. okay ah bye ah.

let's play a love game?

-mardy-

realise

2009-07-15T18:14:00.003+08:00

once bitten, twice shy.

geez is that so hard for you to remember?

i'm past the point of crying.

not because it doesnt hurt me when i see you get hurt.

it hurts as if i'm the one bearing all the pain.

i cry because i thought i should let you know that i feel your pain.

let you know that i feel horrible i wasn't able to protect you.

but i realised, you are responsible for your own actions.

every decision was left up to you.

and you chose to go down this path.

knowing full well what the consequences were.

for having so much potential at excelling,

you are one stupid dumbass.

it's times like this when i wanna fast forward time.

i think i'll be able to forgive you.

but give me time to really mean it when i say i'll be there for you.

because no matter how much i say it you always take it for granted.

its time to wake up and face the music little one.

-mardy-

stress siol

2009-07-14T17:24:00.002+08:00

okay so tomorrow got apfs meeting to which we have yet to start on the report and the due date is like freaking next week.then NLS also havent finish which is due on the same freaking day and FPQA got group sharing tmr then on thursday got csas presentation then next two weeks got u art presentation and then NLS got stoopid quiz on friday which comprises of three damn bloody heavy topics including nutrtion in adolesence as to which i am completely clueless about then next week also goot fpqa quiz which is open book but its gonna be tough anyway because fpqa sucks to very core of my entire being. no wait, that's apfs. and oh did i mention i freaking do not like our apfs tutor who keeps saying she knows who is the smarter bunch of people in the class and making us feel like crap, like hello, she cant even speak english properly, go england first lah then come back okay.ugh.

mother's rendang smell is so damn strong i can faint from how delicious it smells.

ah.fasting is detoxifying mardy.remember!

-mardy-

woohoo.

2009-07-11T20:31:00.003+08:00

okay okay second post of the day.you guys probably think i have no life and that i'm sitting at home 24/7 facing my lappy and onlining and onlining and onlining. well NO. okay i WAS out and I WAS NOT online for the whole of today.SERIOUSLY LAH.i swear.haha.

okay so i'm loving the Michael Jackson tribute song by the game lah. so damn bloody nice okay.

oh i miss MJ. haha RANDOM.

i mention you when i say my prayers

i wrap you around all my thoughts

boy you're my temporary high

i wish that when i wake up you're there

to wrap your arms around me for real

and tell me you'll stay by my side

this is stuck in my head as of now.thanks eh firi.all your blog songs will get stuck in my head eventually.PPPFFF.

eh, i feel like eating sushi lah seh. and i hate sushi! geezz.i think i'm pms-ing.

-mardy-

eh mangkuk.

2009-07-11T15:39:00.002+08:00

i'm a happy girl. i got my bandito like finally and mother bought me 27 dresses VCD.went to watch transformers which was really awesome(NOT). sumpah the movie crappy like what sia.and fir's apparently obsessed with lifts =.='

but oh megan fox can i have your hair?puhleassse.

k daa i want to do my report which is like cruk cruk.ok byebye earthlings.

-mardy-

swamped.

2009-07-09T20:49:00.004+08:00

ohmygod like f*** lah. i just realised i had so many things to do and i'm trying to stupidly start on my freaking informal report which is due on freaking monday morning nine freaking am. and i have so many projects to edit and the stupid sodium column just decided to disappear from my foodworks table and now my sodium column is freaking empty. argh. apfs also i havent edit. fpqa also havent do results interpretation.to make things worse my mask is like crap and my life sucks because my eyes are super tired and dry from all the contact lens wearing ohmygod give me a goddamned break! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. irritating nak mampos lah.

i just want to snuggle up and sink into the blissful folds of warm hugs and colourful dreams.

breathe mardy breathe.

-mardy-

puase dok.

2009-07-07T16:43:00.002+08:00

ahah. dugaan seh. i've been fasting for the whole of today and its like everywhere is showing food. thanks ah. it all started in the morning lah. but whatever lah okay cos all of those were like advertisements so its like they've been there for a long time and i happen to be fasting when i noticed it.

but this really irritating happened: i just finished my afternoon prayers and feeling so damn tired, i decided to just pass out on my bed hoping i would wake up at like around six and then there would be only one hour more to dinner time. so as i was snuggling myself with my patrick stuffed toy on my bed, after a few seconds then BAMM!! someone was cooking something which smelled like ohmygodwanttofaintbecauseitssoniceandyou'resohungry hit my nostrils know! then i was like oh crap! thanks ah. usually food smells go in the kitchen but today it just decided to travel up to my room window.

seriously.dugaan aku puase. LOLs.

okay so after today i'm still gonna be left with 7 days. dang. =.='

oh yeah so apparently some people's been staring at me like want to eat me like that right. alamak.funny issit. irritate me lah irritate, later i give you my i'msohungryicouldeatyou look then you scaredd.but seriously lah people, why you staring at me huh? i thought that phase was past? haha apparently not kan awak kan? i'm way past looking at you and murmuring about you like a long time ago. i guess you're just so damn bored with your life and your friend's lifes aren't interesting enough so you resort to staring? woo.scary lah you.i'm shaking in my skirt.HAH.

as kaiying says:"nevermind later i stare at them back okay? i staring expert what you dont know? that time i stare at the uncle like this * proceeds to make a damn funny expression*

ahah.damn funny lah her face. ah~ the girls always make my day :D

-mardy-

ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

2009-07-04T09:45:00.005+08:00

to feel your pain, you feel mine

go inside each other's minds

just to see what we'd find

look at shit through each other's eyes

-eminem; beautiful

i need a mind sift. seriously my head's so effed up.

/edited

kepala macam nak pecah lah seh. whats wrong with me. stop thinking about that lah you bloody idiot. HELP.

-mardy-

apologise

2009-07-02T16:58:00.003+08:00

so huiteng made me feel bad by saying this:

" just because you find him funny doesnt mean you have to laugh until like that right..later he hurt how?"

okay so fine.sorry.but its not just me what! the others also..=.='

but whatever it is, it was not my intention or any of us for that matter to hurt anyone's feelings. we just enjoy a good laugh, especially now since we get all stressed up over impending deadlines for so many projects,we have to laugh the stress out so we laugh at just about anything. so dont take it to heart okay? we're all good people so if you see us laughing and you have a feeling its about you, then take it as a compliment as you've made us laugh. at least that's what afro does. OMG.HAHA. okay sorry sorry. but still. dont take it to heart okay? just give us the =.=' look and smile alright :D

so i dont know if the person is really hurt, just to be on the safe side and not make enemies, i'm apologizing.

ok lah, i need to go do my FI. byebye!

aja aja fighting!

-mardy-

firi is sod.

2009-07-01T15:56:00.003+08:00

ahahaha. so i'm like still in school.with uh. firi. who ah said ah yay for you.

guy1: "Yo wassup MAN!!!"

guy2: *cruk cruk*

guy1: "what you call me? what you call me?"(in high pitched voice)

guy2:" uh..."

guy1: " Johnny depp SIOLL!!"

then guy 1 proceeds to kiss guy 2's cheek.

guy1: " woo! ME HOMO! ME HOMO!"

this was so random.made us destress like what okay. then firi managed to make a retarded face with other people looking. and i still cant forget the firi's facial impersonation of someone. so similar yet so retarded.

ok bye.

-mardy-

stuck.

2009-06-30T21:23:00.002+08:00

dear god, please dont let it be true.

oh please please i will never hear the end of it.

OMG NO LAH.

weird.quirky.strange.possible.NOT.

-mardy-

2009-06-26T14:20:00.002+08:00

i am so freaking BORED.

so here is a picture of my latest obsession:

ohmygod damn cute or what he???

ok i can see huiteng squealing and touching her computer screen hahah! and i also see the rest of the girls shaking their heads and rolling their eyes.

okay okay. bye.

-mardy-

2009-06-25T11:09:00.002+08:00

its all done. there's nothing i can do to change it. but i will work harder. i swear. i promise.to all of you reading if i dont make do on my promise i give you all permission you slap me in the face until my nose and ears bleed.

yesterday was DEPRESSING.

but on the other hand i got to eat hot fudge sundae with hana and ht. i was badly in need of sugar. so the three of us ended up sitting there with sundaes in our hands eating the chocolatey goodness while watching the world go by. it could have gone on and on.

so apparently i got quarantined because of stupid swine flu. FYI i am NOT infected i just came back from a recently deemed as infected country. yeah right, quarantine me after being in school for two days. makes absolute sense right? i may have well spread the germs to the girls and the whole class. i even hugged JUHANIS lah seh. so then she will start to spread the whole thing to her class who will talk to others from other classes and the whole FSN course will kena also.

oh yes, one more thing, i have officially finished the boys over flowers series. now im thinking of what the hell do i do now.

okay ah pretty chicks.i'm done. byebye and be sure to miss me in school. because i miss you all already. its so weird not going to school when i'm perfectly healthy. hmph.

-mardy-

i wanna see the world.

2009-06-23T20:25:00.002+08:00

hello world.

well i've got nothing much to blog about.

but i need to ask all of you reading there a very BIG FAVOUR.

please????

anyone out there who can get Yi Jung of boys over flowers out of my head please tell me.like seriously. the drama is all i ever think about. please please tell me to stop talking about it and stop thinking about it. the moment i start watching its like the next episode comes calling me to watch it! and its like i totally forget about the outside world but instead i live in this bubble where all i care about is what the people on screen are experiencing.ohmygod seriuously i'm going NUTS. well, someone DID burst my bubble yesterday, ruining the whole moment where Jun Pyo discovered Jandi couldnt swim anymore because of him, sad moment then someone irritating JUST HAD TO RUIN IT FOR ME.

geez.thanks ah.

okay ah earthlings, i'm off to watch another episode of BOF.

love you all okay?

p/s: maisarah and sakinah i love you guys to PIECESSSS!! thanks for the two n a half bitching n camwhoring sessions! xoxo

-mardy-

salam dari jogja okay.

2009-06-18T15:41:00.002+08:00

hi y'all!

okay so uh im kinda still in Jogja BUT i'll be back by ten am tmr singapore time okay. so to my FPQA group members, CHILL y'all i'm coming home and not ditching y'all at the last minute in case you started thinking i would bail on you guys after all. because i uh definitely thought about it.then i thought of hana, huiteng and firi and i was like NO i cant do this to them.

LOLS.

and girls dont worry i got y'all stuff OKAY?

see i'm so good. *angel music playing*

okay i'm loving it here cus the tacky lame touristy things are actually damn bloody fun. and to top it all of you burn calories because you have to walk ALOT.

(note: never ever try hiking with your $7.90 pumps okay.you'll feel every single tiny pebble under your foot.)

so i was like hoping to see like Ariel or something but sadly no such luck :( BUT i did see this guy who looked like him.ohmygod i was walking walking along the crowded street when i turned just in time to see him.DANG. like okay imagine youre on crowded street then out of no where like got spotlight shining on that guy. oh and dont forget the angel music.

like some james blunt music video like that ah. k shuttup.

k ah i wanna go swimming now. bye pretty chicks.

-mardy-

MARIE

2009-06-13T18:06:00.000+08:00

The cool night air rushed against her porcelain skin inviting sleepiness to wash over her. Leaning her head to the head rest, she sneaked a glance at her husband. There, beside her, glorious and strong sat the guy whom she had promised to love and cherish every single day. She could still remember the words he had stuttered when proposing to her. “I don’t know why Marie, but you are the only girl I’ve ever felt this way about. I’m not going to say I love you, or you complete me because that is way too obvious already. All I want you to know is there is no one else in this world who I want to be with except you Marie. I want to grow old with you. Marry me?” At that moment her heart felt so full she thought it was going to burst right through her chest to show him that her feelings exactly mirrored his words.

Sensing her attention on him, Mike turned and smiled at her expression. She looked like a tired, brunette angel. Her luscious locks tumbling down her shoulder made an amazing combination with her porcelain complexion. Her small lips were upturned slightly at the corners forming a reluctant smile.
“Sleep Marie, I’ll wake you when we arrive” he said, smiling, he brushed his left hand across her cheek and traced it along her lips. “I won’t go anywhere” he whispered.
Rolling her eyes at him, she gave in to her tiredness with a grin still etched on her face.

*********************************************************************************

“I’ll always be with you Marie, where ever you are and where ever you go, I will always be in your heart.”
Pain. That was the sensation she woke up to. Her whole body felt like it had been stung with hornets a thousand times and rolled over in needles. Her lungs were fighting to keep her breathing. There was something bothering her about this. Something didn’t feel right. She felt that her heart was not beating. A few seconds passed and she realized it was beating, but it was so weak that it only felt like tears falling down softly on her chest. The pain in her chest was so great she began to weep.

Her hands searched the person she needed to hold on to, her eyes would not open no matter how she willed it to. It was like her mind was oddly concentrated on the pain in her chest. It became worse as seconds rolled by. Her hands came in contact with something soft and cold. His cheek, she thought, stroking it to get him wake up, she noticed the temperature of his skin. It was cold. Not ice cold but it felt like the blood circulation had been stopped. Fear flooded through her veins and her heart gave a huge painful leap of horror. She wrenched open her eyes with all her might and gasped when the world around her began to spin.

“Mike, mike wake up! Mike! Listen to me!” she shook him hard but his eyes remained closed and his body motionless. Like a beautiful doll, he was pretty but cold. “No Mike no!! don’t do this to me Mike!!!”

Something warm spread through the surface of her blouse, looking down she saw the big dark red stain expanding as she felt the energy drain out of her. She slumped back to the car seat and closed her eyes willing the pain to go away.

The pain slowly started to fade and her breathing evened out slowly, amazed, she opened her eyes to see herself out of the car and sitting on the road side beside it. Looking down at her body she saw that she was perfectly fine. No blood, no stain and no pain. “Hey you.” Came Mike’s voice from beside her.

Marie turned in time to see her husband looking perfect and radiant. “Mike! What happened?”
“I don’t know, Marie. Just remember that, I love you and I will always love you. Promise me you’ll take care of my heart? Because I’m leaving it with you Marie, I will always be in your heart.”

And then he faded into the background.

The pain started to build up again but this time she could hear people talking all around her. She caught glimpses of red and blue lights from under her eyelids and could not take it any longer. “Mike..” she mumbled and blacked out into a pitch black dreamless sleep.

-mardy-

i can hardly see

2009-06-12T10:12:00.000+08:00

hola.so this was taken yesterday when we were supposed to do our NLS project. we managed to score an empty LT and this was what happened when you have an empty LT with three crazy chicks who will do anything to destress.

AHHA. okay so the thing about the LT is that its lights are activated by sensors. so we were sitting down talking talking skali the lights went OFF! HAHAHAHHA. damn it was funny. so i stood up to get the lights on again guess what firi did in her attempt to on the lights?

she clapped her hands.

=.=

good for you bad for me,

when i can hardly see from the

tears that flow.

-mardy-

random lah okay babies

2009-06-10T21:16:00.003+08:00

breathe slow,

count from one to ten,

with your eyes closed,

ladies take it in and,

gain composure,

ladies never lose composure.

i want to WRITE LAH. seriously theres a story forming itself in my head but i have absolutely no freaking time to write!

damn sad okay. my life has been nohing but facing mr laptop and typing typing and doinf frakin research that is so freaking tiring and to make things worse i'll have to work on HOLIDAYS TOO.

i'ma have to lug my laptop along to indonesia.

speaking of which i'm kinda looking forward to escaping for a few days from this madness.

ohmygawd i just hope to god i manage to enjoy myself.

se okay this is the point where you have to start worrying, when you are praying to GOD you aint gonna be worrying on your freaking well deserved HOLIDAYS.

*screams at the top my voice and pulls at hair then runs to mothers room and back again*

i am so freaking T tothe I tothe R tothe E tothe D

i will be the happiest girl alive when we finally submit these goddamned projects.i'll be on cloud nine and as happy as a free bird..until semestral exams come and wipe the dreamy smile off my face.

okay ah people, REMEMBER! politics will never get you anywhere, well exceot if you suck up to the boss ah k but then all your friends wont like you.so then you'll be rich but friendless.go shopping at LV alone with no one to share your joy with. HAHA.

okay shuddup and drive.

goodbye pretty chicks.godbless.

-mardy-

hands

2009-06-05T18:29:00.002+08:00

i was walking to the safra bustop with Ta when we started talking about holding hands.

as in holding your boyfriend's hand? NOT TARINI'S hand LAH.pfft.

when i realised something.

its been so long since i held hands with anybody,well except my mum lah.

then i sad.

awwwww.nobody hold my hand :((

nobody love me.

aww. i sad.

okay ah bye ah.

-mardy-

hungry

2009-06-04T18:34:00.003+08:00

ohmygod i am so freaking hungry when are my parents gonna reach home lah.

so term tests are done but i still have tons of things to do and oh term tests are done, oh i said that already right?

i got new bangles! *shakes bangles*

okay so uh.yeah.uh. i have no mood to blog about my day right now all because i am so freaking hungry.

and i think i wanna make cookies tomorrow.woo. so long never bake.

ohmygod my stomach is growling like a pissed off tiger.

bye pretty chicks.

REMEMBER!

THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU GO FOR HOLIDAYS. *raise eyebrows at hana*

he is so freaking hot lah. the reason to go watch new moon.

-mardy-

its all about the drama

2009-05-29T20:46:00.002+08:00

well hello earthlings.today was so freaking dramalicious that my head feels like its gonna explode with all these feelings mixed up.

well FIRST, alfatihah to my father's cousin (so my uncle liddat ah) who passed away last night.

sad. i didnt think i would be that sad as he wasnt that close to me but i cried buckets at the funeral.ended up crying the whole way to ITAS and i showered the girls with another wave of tears. LOL. sorry y'all. they had to stop eating for a while.hahaha.

then had nls which went yada yada yada and went to the lab to collate results with ht wearing slippers in the lab.yes slippers.

YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR SLIPPERS IN THE LAB HUITENG.

nearly got caught by the irritating Ah Soh but ran out just in time to hear her say: "eh why you all run out?" to which i replied " uhh we late for lecture lah!" to which she replied " oh!ok!ok!bye!"

she was so happy for some weird reason.

oh fir said mr whatevercolourhewears has tyra banks eyes.RANDOM.

okay so remember!

LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.

good luck for term test y'all.

we'll need it =S

-mardy-

2009-05-28T21:23:00.000+08:00

AWESOME.

-mardy-

sial.

2009-05-27T20:23:00.002+08:00

"so its like the concentration of the sodium hypochlorite is only 40% in the whole of the chlorine sanitizer so its like we have to find out how much of the 60% of chlorine is actually needed so you take the ppm times by 15 then you get the answer.understand?"

"huh?"

that's what we're all becoming. blurr like squid.

that was huiteng explaining and the rest were like staring at her as all of us lost her halfway.

and this stupid NLS thing is driving me NUTS.

ohmygawd.

"and for the soyamilk i can see that you just cut and paste evrything into the write up. i could mark you as plagiarising and fail you"

someone go tell the teacher we DID NOT just cut and paste everything. stop talking crap lah first you tell us its okay then when we present you say its crap. just shut up okay.

so i got tagged by chacha and since i'm already to agitated to work i'll do it:

1. Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kiss?

- forehead i guess.

2. How do you feel when you wake up this morning?

- oh crap.school.

Who was the last person you took photo with?

- tarini

4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

- NO

5. Would you ever donate blood?

- yes. okay the girls can stop laughing now

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite sex?

- yes.but he go and make things awkward so we dont really talk now.

7. Do you want someone dead?

- Nope

8. What does your last message says?

- 1008.12 J

9. What are you thinking right now?

- i got to finish stupid nls.

10. Do you wish someone to be with you right now?

- uhuh. yes.yes.yes.yes.

11. What is the time you go to bed last night?

- 12 plus gitu ahh.yang penting aku ngantuk gilerss.

12.Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?

- SCHOOL

13. Is someone on your mind?

- no one in particular

14. Who was the last person who texted you?

- Fir

Tag 10 random people to do this survey.

1. Firi

2. Hana

3. Dila

4. Kaiying

5. lyra

6. huiteng

7. dian

8. aiwei

9. alicia

10. whoever lah k.

16. Who is no. 2 having relationship with?

- no one. single but we've got someone in mind for her.

17. Is no. 3 a male or female?

- Female

18. If no. 7 & no. 10 get together, would it be a good thing?

- Why not eh?

19. What is no. 1 studying about?

- nutrition

When was the last time you had a chat with them?

- who you talking about?

21. Is no. 4 single?

- yep

.22. Say something about no. 3

- my school mate?

lols

23. What do you think about no. 3 & no. 5 being together?

- I dont think they know each other

24. Describe no. 9

- studious lol

25. What will you do if no. 6 & no. 7 fight?

- you dont even know each other!!

26. Do you like no. 8?

- i love her :D

and here's something:

umbrella to shelter you from the rain shine critics sadness angst n etc
food to make yourself full and assures that you wont skip a meal cos of your disturbed emotions
coffee may you chill by the errr crowd. (starbucks pe)
star sun moon to make you look forward to the small things that the almighty has created, and has a serenity effect if we ponder upon

lols.thanks lyra :)

-mardy-

oh spock. be mine.

2009-05-24T18:38:00.003+08:00

oh my. i so love this picture. i was so into picasa(thanks hana) and i go and make i dunno how many collages.

baik pe. okay so amaciam sumer orang? ada baik? ade lagi orang orang yang nak menyakitkan hati aku? kalau ade sila tampil ke hadapan yerr. jangan malu malu.

(translation: anyone else wanna complain?)

okay so i am DONE with my report. *puts up hands and go woohoo!!* oh! and i've done my citations too you know? well well who would have thought mardy knows how to do citations.

so i watched star trek and it damn bloody AWESOME!! oh my god.you people would probably think i'd go gaga over chris pine but NO. i want SPOCK!!

that awesome cute hot geeky spock!

ohmygod geeks are LOVED.

-mardy-

aint about how fast you get there

2009-05-21T13:58:00.002+08:00

all i wanna say is what goes around comes around.

i thought these kind of people were really deceitful looking on the outside and that you could smell their meanness from ten miles away, but NO. life just proved that they hide beneath the skin of any random, normal looking person. one whom you might even trust. thats their secret weapon. they make you trust them then they betray you in a such a way that is not entirely unexpected but they surprise you that they do it anyway.

a wise care person once told us: LOVE PEOPLE, USE THINGS.

but these people, they love things and use people.

-nuff said.

-mardy-

OHMYGOD

2009-05-19T20:17:00.002+08:00

"oh my god. eh mardy we stand here okay so we can see him better!"

"is that AFRO????? ohmygod he's damn HOT."

"okay i'm smitten"

"gaspp!"

"haaa..*angel music playing*"

"i want to sit here!(beside afro at the comp lab) ooppss sorry(because afro's friend happened to be sitting there)"

"he cut his hair???"

"i think he got ponytail know.."

"we action action accidentally slip his beanie off his head ah then can see"

"action take paper then kena his head when putting your hand down then say hey everybody LOOK!"

okay.afro is officially not afro anymore.we miss the hair but the guy who just emerged underneath the shadow of his hair umbrella is awesomely hot.

okay bye pretty chickss.

-mardy-

me?

2009-05-16T16:27:00.004+08:00

so here's what happened.

.............................................................................................................................................................

.....................................................................................................................................................

.................................................................................................................

okay okay exaggerating but seriously it has been nothing but school, school and school. among those three are incidents of about ten seconds of heavenly peanutbuter and chocolate cookie in my mouth, spotting mr.green/blue/grey/whatevercolourhewears, looking at Hana's friend waiting if they eventually will talk which they eventually do but in private because apparently he finds us (yes,the crazy bitches surrounding hana) intimidating.

WAIT.HOLD UP.

us?? INTIMIDATING???

okay that is such a coincidence because i was chatting with the cousin that day and talking about mr.whatevercolourhewears and she said the SAME THING.

"maybe he intimidated?"

and i asked by WHAT EXACTLY???

and she goes "what's your status in school?"

and i go" uhh.single, in AFSN, jaded with assignments yada yada yada.."

and she goes" your head la! i mean you popular or not??"

and i go" oh! HAHA.sorry. i do know quite a number of people in my course and some from other courses."

and she goes"maybe you are known so ade popularity lah tu.."

okay.tunggu jap.

AKU POPULAR??

firi maybe ah..the girls also if people say they're popular i agree as in as the multi racial group of smart chicks. *grins widely*

but ME?? AS A PERSON??

impossible.

the things that make people popular:

they're HOT
they're PRETTY
they're WITTY
they're FUN
they know alot of people

and i aint any of that.

so i have come to a conclusion that i am not popular. at all.(a bit depressing but its the truth.)

so why the hell do people even consider me intimidating???

cheywahh.i should really go start a facebook quiz ahh.."mardy's popularity level quiz."

ok ah i am going to showerrr powerrr.

goodbye pretty chicks.

-mardy-

here i am.

2009-05-14T17:14:00.002+08:00

so i'm back. likee i have tons of things to blog about but sadly i have no mood to do so.

go see hana, ky, firi and ht blog.all dead already.tell me how can i be inspired to blog??i want to delete my blog ah.can?

okay so yesterday kris allen rocked kanye wests's heartless! like seriously it was damn bloody GOOD.

LALALALALA.

oh and apparently afro cut his hair and someone said he was hot. see.i did say he was cute.

and ohh my i think i flunked FI.

okay ah bye.i'm chatting with the cousin.

-mardy-

bad bad day

2009-05-10T21:17:00.002+08:00

i had a really bad day. like really.

now i'm all sad and blue.

i feel like puking.

and i feel like sleeping.

but my body wont let me.

my physiological hormones arent working that well.

they're going haywire.

i'm tired but i cant sleep.

i feel sad but i cant get my tear ducts to work.

i'm so damn depressed.

ok bye.

2009-05-08T18:43:00.002+08:00

i dont feel like being demure.

okay so excuse me if my being too vulgar offends you angels out there who hasnt uttered a single solid vulgarity in your goddamned lives.

dont pretend that all of you tak pernah Perangai Macam Sial before. because thats just PMS. just because i wear the tudung doesnt mean i'm a verbal angel. i have a potty mouth. okay? gettit? so i wear the tudung and i'm not even allowed to be slightly harsh at times? i'm not allowed to be so angry and lose control and just blurt out anything that comes to mind? well here's a news flash(flash news according to Fir) :

you can jolly well kiss my ass.

and if you dont want to, keep your bloody mouth freaking shut.

HAHA. okay. so besides that, i just had the most scrumptious burger like EVER. oooooooohhh BLISS.

and i have so many things to do before monday.like.here we freaking go again.

so we talked about 50 cent nipples in school.thanks fir. i think all of us will have toned abs if we continue like that for a week. yellow armpits and spot the mickey man boobs. i will never look at a mickey mouse the same ever again. mygawd we almost rolled under the bench laughing our lungs out. okay so i'm tired.byebye pretty chicks.

-mardy-

eat like pig.

2009-05-06T20:01:00.002+08:00

okay so i amm in the middle of doing CSAS workshit. HAHA. okay so uhhhhh i dunno what to say. so i'm gonna post something so random the =.= expression will literally appear on your freaking face!

i'm gonna talk about........AFRO- not. the girls will prolly be going " deep deep down mardy.."

no lah. but i will be talking about the one, the only and the utterly irritating SWINE FLU.

so we come to school, take temperature twice a day, walk like idiots with colorful stickers on our impeccably designed outfits and walk around school. and NOW, all of us are catching the bug. it started with Ta who was sniffling away beside me during NLS lecture yesterday, then i got the worst head throbbing migarine and for like the first time in my life i looked pale during a non exam results day. today Firi had a high temperature, Hana got the sniffles and Ky n Ht has started coughing and having headaches.

MANGKUK. and quiz 1 week hasnt even started.

okay so everytime i turn the tivvo on i hear " the H1N1 virus bla bla.." when i listen to the radio news i hear" swine flu bla bla.." look into the paper and i see " on orange alert bla bla.."

swine flu is irritating the shiat out of my brain.its like taking over our life. i mean we're always within reach of thermometres and the lecturers are already on red alert though Singapore is still on orange.

OHMYGAWD

aku tired. so byebye pretty chics.

-mardy-

2009-05-02T21:01:00.002+08:00

oh dammit.

i miss __________.

damn.damn.damn.

i should not even be thinking about this person.

okay mardy snap out of it.

and NO. it is NOT L____.

oh crap mard.why??????

-mardy-

2009-04-30T16:04:00.002+08:00

no school tomorrow yay yayy.

damn i'm tired.

saw L the yesterday and i almost didnt recognize him. he cut his freaking curly afro! all that was left was uhhh a layer of hair and sideburns reaching over to form a goatee.

ta and firi were like behind me when they saw him then they were like "mardy.." i turned and i see this guy who was looking at me and i gave him the blur look. then he smiled and went "oi.." and i was like "................................eh!hi.."

sotong siah.

oh.somebody got boyfriend.ehem ehem. then there were three singles and one half single( Tarini)

no comments ah k Ta.

i scared i become the only one without a boyfriend. :((

then i'll be like the loser of the group.

the rest of the girls, please dont get attached anytime soon okay??

HAHA.

ok ah i random ah okay i say byebye okay.

my lips like sugar

2009-04-28T21:02:00.002+08:00

my lips like sugar..

omg.my legs are sore. i think i managed to break the record of having all of my leg muscles pulled at one time. i was like a half cripple just now in school hobbling along as though i was tryna catch a snail. i could manage to walk properly but i couldnt walk at my usual speed. like old grandma.

and all of this why?

because i went for freaking SILAT. yes. SILAT. mangkuktingkatbloodyidiotpunyesakitmyleglikewanttocrylikethatokay.

seriously. me, who has never silated in my whole entire life went for the first silat session. i thought it was like orientation but NO it was the first freaking session! yes. with the official kicking and whatever's.

and before that we had to bloody warm up for like TWO FREAKING HOURS. we jumped until my knees were feaking wobbly, stretched until i couldnt stand anymore and then we jogged.to the triangular garden then up the STAIRS till the ramp aaannnddd down the ramp and sprint up again then we ran back again to the training mats.

kepale otak ah okay.macam want to faint already.seriously the world was like a blurr.

then thank the dearest GOD they gave us a half hour break.

and then the silating began. the kicking and all that was fun but still my legs were like ugh by the time we were done. i have no idea wether i'm gonna continue cos i just found out that that stupid someone was there.

and oh, ht misses afro.

bye!

-mardy-

tired shit.

2009-04-24T17:49:00.002+08:00

ohmegawd i'm so bloody tired. okay so, school has been a blast?i guess.well in more ways than others lah kan. well partly because the crazy girls always always make the day in school worthwhile aaaannnd because we get to people watch. standard.

so it was lectures and lectures for the first week except for stoopid csas which was at the elab and i kena caught surfing other websites.hmph. oh and now we have a PBL subject called FPQA.its kinda interesting but still got damn alot of work to do.

then uhh..nothing much ah except that afro's hair is still the same size as last term. and no. i DO NOT like afro.bahh.

saw mr.green who was mr.blue and uhh saw my ex secondary school mate whose in BMS. smart ass lah he.hmph.

saw some macho guy who knew he was macho and decided to show off his muscles by wearing a damn bloody tight shirt with no armpit breathing space that caused him to walk with his arms swinging like a monkey.sumpah.perasan mane nye hotsuff je.tau ah badan buff.hmph.

and the cute chinese-looking malay guy from french lecture is in my understanding art class. he's dammn cute i swear. i got to sit like face to face with him.anna couldnt stop laughing and i found myself swallowing giggles like an idiot when i talked to him. which was once. kental seh mard.

then i apparently got elected as vice class rep when no one apparently voted for me. alot of people, including me, voted for agnes but i think mr loh didnt count that. bloody hell. but ky was elected class rep so hoorrayy for her!

fishball: "usually vice class rep no need to do anything one."

kai ying:"i want my vice class rep to do something!"

me(from behind ky):"i heard that!"

lol. okay i'm tired. byebye babies.

-mardy-

2009-04-19T15:35:00.002+08:00

okay so this post is gonna be colourful.mind your ears.

family chalet was fun like crayons. except for one incident which irritated the colour pencils out of me. seriously i felt like spray painting the face of the fat crayon who made my day blue.

then there was a green snake.say what???? YES! there was a freaking tree snake in the chalet and it was in the same room as my two little cousin and brother. geeeeeeezzzzzzz. and they were like eh! snake! then back to their respective gameboys. purple.hmph.

and oh green green green, tomorrow got school.red lah. LTs are so greenirritatingly freezing.

okay lah.blue yellow red brown purple indigo violet orange.bye.

-mardy-

babygirl its over.

2009-04-17T10:27:00.003+08:00

delilah updated.

okay so i was listening to some stuffs on my phone when i came across Jesse Mcartney's It's Over. so i stupidly go and set it on repeat and now i'm listening to it for the like ten thousandth time.okay bedek. but seriously, it got me emo-ing okay. it kinda reminded me of that particular time where i was playing the part of Miss Second Best. which technically means, that the guy i like, likes me too but he just likes another girl better. gettit?

i mean its like i thought this guy was like the perfect guy. i mean he was funny and witty.he would not stop teasing me and i felt really comfortable being myself when i'm around him. he didnt hesitate to tell me if i've done stuff wrong and he always always says he hates it if i swear. seriously, he never fails to let it be known. when we're with our friends and i kinda "accidentally" used a bad word, he would like, give me the look and i'll just give him a guilty and apologetic shrug. he was my bestfriend before i realised i harboured feelings for him. and i found out one day that he had been waiting for this girl for so long and i seriously felt like crying when i heard that. but i just smiled and lightly punched him on the shoulder and said " you better tell me everything about her"

oh and after that disaster after disaster happened. i felt like everytime we got close i got my hopes up just to remember that particular fact staring me in the face. he gave my number to his friend i think in hopes that we would both snap out of it and concentrate on our on relationships. it never worked. his friend was so so wrong for me and everytime his friend called, i would be reminded of him. i eventually stopped answering that poor guy's calls and stopped feeling altogether.

i swear its easier said than done because after that incident my feelings just kept on growing stronger and stronger. then, someone just had to tell me that he likes me too. but he doesnt think that we could be together because he loves the other too much.

i was about ready to breakdown and go to hysterics in the mrt.

after that i tried to forget him but it was so bloody hard and he kept popping up everyday. i swear. i'm telling you guys that he was the first and only guy whose made me cry. it was because of this one time when i got irritated of his teasing and he didnt even talk to me for three days.

oh well. thats all in the past and i think i've moved on. his girlfriend is a nice girl and i've met her a few times.but still, doesnt keep me from staring at their interlocked fingers wistfully and wishing that it was mine and his.

i'm tryina erase you from my mind.

-mardy-

hola

2009-04-16T20:27:00.002+08:00

okay timetable's out.

so i got understanding arts as my cds. *grins* i have no idea why i'm so happy about that skali boring ah i tell you i cry okay. thank god i didnt get psychology (no offense to Ht) but from what i heard psycho can make people psycho. omg omg thats like the funniest thing ever!! okay okay i can practically see the =.= expressions of you guys reading. okay so um...i'm brimming with news.

Matt Giraud just got saved by the judges!! ohmygawd lah.he's like the justin timberlake of A.I
and and and Ahmad(brother) was spotted by the youth olympics scouts for 500m and 1500m event!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohmygawd.ohmygawd.my little brother's gonna be at the olympics!*dabs tissue at corner of eyes* okay actually just the trial lah but i'm praying he gets in!

okay so i'm gonna be at the chalet tmr. my parents were like" you inviting your friends?" and i'm like "huh?" and they're like "nvite your your friends ah" and i'm like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay. so girls, you guys are invited though its gonna be my family and you'll prolly end up talking to my grandmother.HAHA!

okay i'm done.bye earthlings.

-mardy-

2009-04-14T16:18:00.002+08:00

No body has it easyI still can’t believe you

Found somebody new

But I wish you the best

I guess

‘Cause Everybody Knows that

Nobody really knows how to make it work

Or how to ease the hurt

We’ve heard it all before and

Everybody knows just how to make it right

I wish we gave it one more try

One more try, try (one more try)

‘cause everybody knows

But nobody really knows

john legend is freaking awesome and he is the sexiest singer ever.ohmygawd is he HOT or what?

-mardy-

2009-04-11T15:22:00.002+08:00

hola.okay so like for the first time since i started blogging i've been feeling damn bloody lazy to update as frequently as i have been doing.HAHA.thats just bull.

okay so i went to the stadium yesterday for the brunei dpmm fc versus gombak united match.okay correction.i was dragged to the freaking stadium because father did not want to miss fifteen minutes of the game just to send me home. gahh. it was bloody torture i tell you.

why?i dont really mind watching the game as my uncle's like the team manager for DPMM FC so i get to like meet(see) the players up close after they've showered(and dressed lah!). i swear the brunei players have one of the hottest teams in the feaking s-league.

BUT! i just had to sit directly behind this guy who stinks to the high heavens! i swear to God.i nearly puked when his stench first hit my nostrils. it was soo overwhelming lah and i was like wrinkling my nose to keep from smelling him. i swear mother was beside me and she actually put her nose to father's armpit to check if it was him.what the bleah man.

and to make matters worse, we actually moved seats and my god everytime the wind blows the stink will hit my nostrils with a vengeance!EWWW. it was like his smell was determined to penetrate every single nostril that was present.mangkuk.

oh and i was hoping there was gonna be eyecandy but NO. everywhere i turned matreps occupied every space available.what a turn off man.

okay then during half time,this happened:

father went down to buy snacks and left his seat(well duhh) and there were this two malay guys who looked like the goodytwoshoes type sitting like two seats away. then luqman just had to come up and said he wanted to sit at my place and mother asked me to sit right beside those guys with a conspirational look on her face. i was like why there? and she was like go lah..and i'm like uh NO thanks.

go figure.shes weird sometimes.and during the match,when everyone was supposed to be concentrating on the match, she took out a novel and started reading.

=.=

okay so i'm done.

-mardy-

2009-04-07T10:18:00.002+08:00

tagboard up at mardystorytime.blogspot

tag, tag and tag okay.

oh i have nothing to blog about today so i'm just gonna wish Ht and Firi goodluck with coping with your boyfriendless weeks okay? lol.

we're here to occupy you.thats what friends are for apeee...okay.crap.gotta go.

-mardy-

2009-04-04T16:50:00.002+08:00

dear blog of mine,

i am so bloody cranky today. i have no freaking idea why.isnt being cranky human? i thought it was and by saying that isnt everybody who qualify as humans expected to know not to provoke a cranky person? bloody hell. i even turned down my dad's offer to buy this effing pretty dress which was a hundred bucks plus. ugh! i have no freaking idea how the crankiness came about but it just did. all i wanted to do was jus cry. i didnt even care that i was surrounded by pretty clothes and gorgeous bags. i didnt even care where i was at. i was at raffles city for god's sake and that did not stop my foul mood to pull my face into a really darnn miserable look. everytime somebody talked to me, a lump would rise in my throat and i had to close my eyes and count my breaths so i didnt bawl my eyes out. i swear. and i took out my anger my scratching my brother's arm, where it left a mark, slapped my other brother's stomach because he damn irritating and smiled that stoopidd smile at me and uhh did nothing to my youngest brother because mother had pulled him to her side for safety purposes. i think she thought i might have pummeled him to silence because he could not stop talking.i might have too. my parents were like " you dont this?" and "eh..see that one nice..dont want?" NO LAH.i dont want. sumpah i was being such a bitch to my family but i think my parents were more worried than pissed because i havent gotten cranky at them for a LOOOOOONNNGGGG time. my brothers were indifferent though. theyve seen me during PMS before and they kinda were not surprised.siah la i got so many complaints i dunno how to stop. well at least i am a true singaporean. and the most crappy thing that ignited my already brewing crankiness was happy COUPLES strolling down clarke quay hand in hand while i was there, alone, cranky, hot, sticky and i badly needed a hug.HMPH.

ok ah bye ah.

-mardy-

2009-04-03T11:18:00.001+08:00

okay so went coffee bean with ky and Ht. hana supposed to be there but canceled last minute due to unforseen circumstances.cheh.like real only. i think it was about her grandma or something.

okay so uhhh mother bought this totallyawesome dvd. this is like last year's movie and it is the shit. i think its darn good lahh. Queen Latifah rocks in this and so does Sophie Okonedo.

we're supposed to go to P.D today but i have no idea if it will go through or not because gramma just complained of chest pain and was rushed to the hospital. hope shes okay.

i'm so jealous of this particular fact which i aint gonna say here.but ky and ht know and they just fell in coffee bean chairs with their belgian chocolates with laughter when i said i was jealous aaaannnnndddd desperate. hmph. thanks ahh people.

speaking of coffee bean, that is the last time i'm going there because the drinks are dammnnn expensive lah.giler babs betul. $6.60 for a small one okay and the large one is like 7 bucks lahh.

girls,the next time we go for coffee,its mccafe.i dont care if is cheapskate. even if we go some random coffeeshop i dont mind.

okay thats it then.goodbye.

-mardy-

2009-04-01T17:09:00.003+08:00

i passed my freaking maths!

now its time to say goodbye to mathematics and statistics and say hello to second year.

thank you dear God, so very much.

okay people gimme hugs!

now i'm gonna go burn my notes, excuse me.

-mardy-

i really wanna make things right

2009-03-31T10:38:00.000+08:00

this picture is like soo damn old. it was like last year when all of us just started to hang out together. lol. look how happy hana looks. and Ht's the only one with the KAWAII NE! look. oh how fresh we look without stoopidd CDS's bugging us down. haha.yes mardy blame it all on CDS.

okay i'm gonna start publishing my writings again. in delilah but this time it wont be delilah's story. that one's meant for myself and only myself. lol.too much characters there are'nt fictional and anyone who reads it will prolly know who i'm talking about. HAHA. so this one is about DEE. thats her name and i've published the first part here. its the one in bold. so it gonna be that and the second part. so just check it out okay.

okay byebye earthlings.

-mardy-

2009-03-25T16:17:00.002+08:00

here's a little something i wrote shortly after i got my results. i have no idea how the story's gonna progress so please feel free to drop any suggestions okay? and if its crappy then seluar dalam okay?

__________________________________________________________________

The world passed me by in a whirl of confusing colors and sounds. At that moment everything else had ceased to have meaning except for the slip of paper in my hand. I raked my eyes over it again and again hoping that this was some kind of sick nightmare that I was going to wake up from at any moment. The inevitable truth started to sink in and my legs forgot their purpose. My knees wobbled and I immediately collapsed into the nearest chair.
“This cannot be happening. I worked so hard. I worked my ass off for these. NO! I did NOT fail!” my mind screamed. “The results must be wrong. Something must have gone wrong that’s why they got the wrong values”
The truth was being a bitch. It hit me solid hard in the face and sent me reeling all over the fact. It curled into the pit of my stomach and twisted knots with my intestines. It gave birth to the many butterflies that were fluttering like crazy in my tummy. Seriously, the truth was a bitch. I closed my eyes for a brief second with the intention of escaping reality for a few seconds when I forced them back open again in response to my father’s tap on the shoulder.
“How?” was all he asked. I wordlessly handed him the slip of paper praying he did not have a cardiac arrest and pass out in the school hall. He took in my pale face and terrified expression as a sign of what he was going to see. His eyes roved over the printings that were stubbornly there, his face expressionless. It seemed like eternity was over until he finally looked up to face me. “Well, it’s not bad. You did good for all your other modules except math. Never mind, let’s just focus on the re-test okay? ” the words came out strange, strangled even, like he was forcing them out and biting his tongue to say more. Our eyes met and I probed his dark black eyes searching for some clue to what he was really feeling inside. I saw disappointment reflected in them but also a glimmer of hope. Try as he might to keep the disappointment out of my reach, he could not do so.
His reaction killed me. I wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to drop to my knees and beg him for forgiveness. I wanted to do anything that could take the hurt out of his eyes. I wanted to say a flow of words to tell him that I did not do it intentionally but I held my tongue. A tearful sob threatened to burst through my trembling lips and I mashed them into a hard straight line. I wanted to say something. I wanted to respond. But I knew that if I betray even the slightest bit of emotion, all my restraint would break loose and I would start bawling my eyes out right where I was standing.
All along my heart was pounding a furious mantra of broken incoherent sentences mostly revolving around “I am so sorry Daddy. So so sorry for being so stupid.”

Biting her lip, she winced slightly as she remembered that scene that had occurred a few years back. “Never, I will never ever repeat that again. I will never make that expression cloud his clear, kind eyes anymore.”
Yawning slightly, I reached for my phone to check the time. I was already so exhausted from the day’s activities and my eyelids felt like they weighed a ton. I had to stay up, it was half an hour more to Hanna’s birthday and I was determined to be the first one who wished her, as her birthday celebration itself would have to be belated. That was the least I could do.
Waiting around for twelve am was no joke, especially if the day had had no room for an afternoon nap. I closed my eyes briefly keeping my posture straight up to prevent me from sinking into the blissful folds of deep sleep and colorful dreams. It felt so good, to let my eyelids win for once. I exhaled in a gust of carbon dioxide and let my mind wander while keeping a part of it conscious.
If anyone could take a peek in my mind they would immediately see what my priorities were. It was as if my mind was this super computer with every file on every single detail and aspect of my life. It was usually organized in a high priority to low priority order. My parents were usually the first of the worldly issues of my life. They came right after religion. Keeping them happy had been my mission ever since I could understand the significance of mother’s and father’s days. I used to make such a big fuss out of it. Determined to get them a gift every year was a personal goal of mine. This was all worth it as they would love anything I had gotten them; my parents were the definition of positivity and encouragement. No matter how lame ass the gift would be, they would never fail to love the gift and appreciate my efforts.
I still do get them stuff but I don’t really put much thought about what the gift would be. As I matured over the years, I realized that they were not the types who gushed over materialistic gifts and thoughts. They wanted more from their children. They wanted success for each and every one of us and they constantly prayed for that.
It was then when I realized how much pressure I was in to excel. I had often worked hard and studied hard for my own sake. For the sake of knowledge and exams, but my parents taught me that achieving brilliant results were something every parent wanted for their child. That simple fact changed my whole perspective of life. If I had once been the girl who lived her life for herself, well then I have changed. My parents’ happiness and pride were what I craved for. Not that I did not have any materialistic cravings of my own but to make my parents proud of me has always been my number one goal.
Lady Gaga’s poker face ringtone shook me out of my thoughts. It was a text reminding me that twelve am was just five minutes away. Shrugging off my thoughts, I started to craft a birthday message for Hanna.

lalala

2009-03-25T09:31:00.002+08:00

"i like your name, it sounds like a friend of mine's"

" oh.thanks."

"his name is majid."

WTH.how is MARDY like MAJID???? bloody hell.this guy anyhow only.

okay so class chalet was on monday. we missed Ht as her grandfather passed away on that day :(

okay so we were like okay we aint gonna sleep and ky was practically ordering us not to sleep cause of agnes telling her about Ah Piao i dont know how to spell.lol. we were practically anti social conquering the whole room to ourselves and not going out until it was time to eat.

whatever it is, it would have been better with Huiteng there okay.

before that we decided to surprise hana and she closed her house door in our faces.

=.='

"happy birthday Hana!!"

"arrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*slams the door*

we nearly rolled on the floor laughing.

okay ending ending:

plus huiteng :)

-mardy-

islam

2009-03-22T14:50:00.004+08:00

happy 18th hana! okay its supposed to be yesterday but i had no mood to blog. so here it is now. :)

may you be surrrounded by love and blessings always okay? somebody legal already ahhh. next up is Ht. alamakk. pocket runs dry lah Ht.

okay so i'm done with madrasah exams (evrybody throw up your hands and go woo!) and the best part is although i was anticipating usul fiqh to be hard it wasn't! okay so i'm SOO looking forward to tomorrow. its the class chalet.*grins from ear to ear* but father hasnt given me the green light about overnighting. i am soooo praying he will. tomorrow is also the day where i officially burn my math notes after 11:30am. wish me luck people! i'm feeling pretty confident! :)

okay on another more serious note:

i got this off chacha's blog and like seriously, some people are really f*cked up about islam.i mean it got me thinking, what if there are these kind of people in singapore? i dont doubt it but i just have never come across ppl like them. so if any of you readers, (the girls included) happens to have like burning questions about islam, just ask okay? i will try to answer them the best i can as it is the very least i could do for my religion. its better to ask straight out in the open, than to not know and harbour sick and evil thoughts and perspectives about islam.okay? i mean i'm not saying i'm really darn religious and stuff but religion is a VERY important aspect in my life. i was born a muslim and raised a muslim. and i try my hardest to remain a practising muslim. it aint easy, believe me, to be the subject of discrimination but i'm lucky i was born here than anywhere else where racism is the shit that makes the world go round.

so long earthlings.

-mardy-

2009-03-20T10:23:00.002+08:00

OMG. shes out? shes out?? she can sing damn well and shes out?? and the judges didnt even save her LAH.idiotic judges. but on the other hand, anoop is in. omg. anoopppp!!! i'm practically gushing everytime he smiles and shows his white straight teeth! omg omg. hes damn cute.and tall.*melts* and his vocals, i swear i was like *haaa..angel music*

okay enough. i got madrasah exams on sunday lah seh. pfft or what. then i have maths supp paper on monday and then its hip hip hoorayy!!! i cant wait for maths to be done with. then i can finally stop being bugged about studying.

okay so here's the thing. the father has been uh, kinda nonsensical lately.seriously. one minute he's serious and asking me to study and stuff and the next he suddenly starts to song this out of key song and talking nonsense which only my mum understands.=.='

on wednesday, we were watching A.I when he reached home at like ten and here's the convo:

*gets sms*

him(to mum): help me see who that is and reply "F you" .

*mum goes and check*

mum: he says thankyou. still wanna say F you?

him: oh. alamakk.nvm mind send only.later if he ask say you type wrongly and you actually wanted to say "W you".

me: what??

him: means welcome you lah.

one word. LAME. =.='

okay bye.

-mardy-

2009-03-19T09:44:00.003+08:00

"i'm going to the class chalet after my paper."

"when is it?"

"the same day as maths. but later ahh."

"focus on your paper first ehh.later if don't pass everyone else go chalet happy happy you..."

wow. just wow. as if i havent been busting my ass studying. did he HAVE to say that?? he has absolutely no f*cking idea how demoralising that sounds. i feel so disheartened. i mean if it were anyone else,i'd brush it off. but from him? like arrrrrrgggggghhhh lah okay.

can't you trust me enough to be able to pass this paper? i'm not that stupid you know.

-mardy-

water and a flame

2009-03-18T17:06:00.002+08:00

now you're gone,

there's nothing else i want.

now that it's over,

there's nothing else i want.

what have i done?

it looks like i was wrong.

is everything really meant to change?

i guess we're like water and a flame.

omg.omg. this song rocks lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!go check it out! its by Daniel Merriweather feat. Adele.

and oh oh. YAYYY for spongebob!!

-mardy-

2009-03-17T13:06:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

cool shits or what.

-mardy-

ohmygawd.

2009-03-16T09:16:00.002+08:00

ugh. supp paper timetable still not out lah.okay okay must go check again laterr.

oh ohh so many things happened over the weekends.

saturday (140309): went to SCDF's (aka dad's workplace) family day. i swear it was the lamest lamest family day ever. even my family's family day is waaayyyy better. NS men were scattered everyfreakingwhere. and to make matters worse most of them were malays. can you imagine the horror?? and as if things could not have been more miserable for me, one of the guys was my ex-schoolmate lah hello and he is damn freaking cute. i swear he could see me blush when he looked at me.eeeehh.very the malu okay. oh but his smile...dimples..biceps.okay dee stop it.

sunday (150309): went to uncle's chalet. its been ages since i met the maternal side. i have a new niece :) Nurul Natasya. shes daamn cute lah with her stoned expression and her constant 'sleeping everytime anyone carries her. hee. anyways, since it was pakbusu's birthday it was only natural for the water bombs to come out and this time round someone just had to add coffee powder into the whole scene. LOL. he was already suspicious that something was up when we wanted to cut the cake because of last year's cake smothering incident. he finally plucked up the stinking courage to cut the cake when POM!!!! water bombs came from everywhere and coffee powder rained all over him. god. and i was standing right beside him okay? all of us smelled like coffee plus sweat plus barbecue smoke afterwards.

them aunties were being random yesterday. cik ana (aunty) was barbecueing stuff when she suddenly said"ehh puk*mak." god. that was hilarious.

okay.i'm done.

gahhh.

2009-03-13T10:19:00.002+08:00

okay. so guess where i'm at. school.yes.freaking school.gahh. its annoying to have to come just find out the lecture timings which are not even up yet! the freaking date for the exam isnt even is OUT! bloody hell. i should go ask the lecturer for the lecture times but he is no where to be found. school is bloody empty lahh. i'm sitting at the library with like only um ten other people? and one of them is this chem eng girl who looked at me as though asking you here for supp ah?

and to make matters worse, the supps are supposed to start to-freaking-day! okay now everybody say ohmygawd mardy then what are you doing still online?? ishhhhh.

darn. i've been obsessing over this agin and again. i have no feaking idea why my failing maths affects me so much. i've been feeling down at least once every day because of maths. ugh. i'm sick and tired of crying lah. half of me is like wanting to do maths all day long until my brain ooze out liquid from my ears just so i can pass but the other half is like omg i cant even stand to be studying while everybody else is on holiday. okay okay i know i'm over reacting. but there is a really darn good reason why.

i've never, i repeat,NEVER ever in my whole school life up till now failed a subject at year end exams. and now when i finally do its like i feel so damn demoralised because i keep thinking that i'm so bloody stoopidd that i actually have to take longer than everybody else to pass.hmph. okay i know i'm paranoid but i cant help it. it doesnt help that my parents are putting up a facade of indifference to my failing math but instead always asking me to focus on the supp. they are like nevermind you failed, just focus on the supp paper.FOCUS. wth. anybody can see that even though it appears that they've let me off the hook for that they still kind off wont let me off until i pass my supp. they never fail to leave the house witth" dont forget to study!" like omg lah. i know!!!!!

i mean i know its for the best and everything but please, dont you think i feel miserable enough to know that i have to study????

okay okay.i'm supposed to tell you guys about the lesbian thing but i'll save it for the next post because this post is kinda long.lol.sorry!

-mardy-

2009-03-12T14:57:00.002+08:00

and if you dont mind

can you tell me all your hopes and dreams

and everything that you believe in

would you make a difference in the world

i'd love for you to a deeper conversation

only you can make me.

-yuna

i just remembered something i used to be lesbian(random).teehee.more of that soon. stay tuned!

-mardy-

2009-03-11T16:24:00.002+08:00

i wish someone would wake me up and tell me its all a dream. i worked so bloody hard for maths and i got f*cking F. i dont care. i am going to ace the supp paper and shove it right under the lecturer's face even though i know no matter what grade i get i'll still get a D. just wait. i'll be the maths genius.

on a brighter note i passed all the others! i'm so happy i got a B for my BNF. and also i got no D's! i think with the exception of maths i actually improved.

supp paper.

HERE I COME.

i was so scared my parents were gonna freak but they surprisingly didnt.phew. they were its okay focus on the retest. thank God. i can appeal for a re-mark but i dunno if its worth it.hmph. might as well take supp.GOD.i feel so bloody stupid.ugh.

yuna

2009-03-10T20:50:00.001+08:00

tomorrow. day of judgement.gulp.

aaaand action!

2009-03-08T20:46:00.002+08:00

scene one: the family just came home from the park all sweaty and rushing for the bathroom. three people are in the bathroom and the rest are chillaxing in their rooms with the eldest boy singing the most kental song at the top of his lungs: burnin' up. pizza delievery guy comes and sees no one in the living room but hears a stupid idiot singing burnin up. pizza man sighs and finally screams "salamalaikummmmm!!!!" at the door and the singing idiot finally shuts up in embrassment while his sister laughs her asss off.

scene two: boy,sister and mother sits on the pavement. boy ties his shoelaces and says to the rest" i'll see you in three minutes." and proceeds to run 550 m around the park. arriving 4mins40 seconds later. action lagi kan.

scene three: the four men in the family just cannot stop reminscing the whole bloody day and all their sentences start with " eh do you remember that day...." or " last time right.." WTH.

scene four: this afro guy is always at the park whenever we go there and today was the first time mother and i saw him like up close as he ran to kick the ball (get the dirty thoughts out) which had rolled in front of me. mother just had to say he was handsome and smile conspirationally.my response was "hell no. i am not going near afros." =.='

scene five: this really realy handsome two year old got me gushing like he was some really hot guy. i swear. he even surpassed the cute level and headed straight to handsome.heartbreaker alert.

scene six: mother has practically given me the green light to get into a relationship by saying "i wont mind!" when i asked what she would think if i got a bf. i think she sees that the possibilty of me heading to spinster ville is very real.HAH. mother, i'm not even 18!

i'm done.

-mardy-

hey spongebob!

2009-03-07T16:14:00.002+08:00

heyyy spongebob. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

hahaha! i got a patrick soft toy. LoL. okay byebye loveloves.

-mardy-

hating

2009-03-06T13:24:00.003+08:00

oh now i'm in love with rihanna's hating on the club thanks to MAISARAH BTE ABDURRAHMAN who is having old timers coming back to her for Godknowswhat reason. so okay baby, stop saying nabei and tell them to move with their lifes okay? HAHA.aku gile. okay actually tak penting ah capital letters but whatever okay its MY blog.

ohhhhh...why'd you take my love...

i have no idea what to post about so yeah thats it okay. byebye.

-mardy-

bored siak

2009-03-04T17:09:00.002+08:00

okay people listen to this, i put my cup on the table which is on the right side of the fridge and nothing on the counter top which is on the left side. so i take out a bottle of water and turn around intending to pour water into my cup but i ended up on the wrong side and nearly sloshing half the bottle down the empty table counter.

what the hell is happening to me??

okay here's a list:

i'm becoming a couch potato
i've been watching dramas like 24/7
i've been working out till i feel like puking
i need to do somemore stretching because my muscles hurt.(chey.muscles keppe)
i've been avoiding rice except for dinner
i've been a healthy eating freak (!!!)
i keep onlining as invisible so people wont think i have no life and thats why i'm always online.

okay. so thats about how uneventful my life is. another thing is that i am so darn pathetic that my DAD has to be the one asking me to go out with my friends instead of sitting at home making my butt grow.(eh,but big butts sexy what?) yes people. my dad. the one who i am always too scared to ask for permission because he will always say" let me think about it" and get back to you like the next day and keep you on tiptoes the rest of the day.yes.the same dad. but obviously you cant give him more credit as he says " you guys can go to the museum etc" and i was like =.='' do the girls even want to go to the freaking museum?? i think if we go, we'll prolly just spend like um, 5 mins in each hall and then scram to get lunch.haha!

okay so girls,cycling soon please? i need to burn fat LAH.

-mardy-

2009-03-03T16:15:00.001+08:00

LOL

i need a....painkiller

2009-03-03T15:27:00.003+08:00

its my 230th post.

wow.okay so i've been blogging for like um, a year and a month? and i have 230 posts.i sure do have too much time on my hands.

okay so my head hurts. seriously. its like someone's taking it and squeezing it until my brain wants to pop out of my ears. then the same someone also takes red hot hammers and hammers it on my head.what the bleah right.

oh oh listen i did work out today! for a full 40 freaking minutes. i think i almost died. but i survived.

i soo love the weather lah.thank you God for the rain.

okay bye earthlings

-mardy-

2009-03-02T19:22:00.002+08:00

omg i'm tired. i just spent the whole day with Hana, Ky and Ht. we went badmintoning. it was damn bloody hot lah. we started playing at two. i know i know, who plays badminton in the middle of the day right. but whatever. i had fun even though all of us were practically fried because of the heat from the sun and freaking oil from our faces. Ky's face had tuned pink lah okay!

it was hilarious lah. me n Ht were like laughing throughout the whole time when we saw hana and Ky play.kekek.

okay so i'm so dreading 11 march. so bloody annoying.stop bugging my mind for god's sake!

please god make me pass all of my modules. i dont wanna sit for supp paper!

oh FYI, for those like Ht who keeps checking Delilah, here's an update! Delilah in the virtual world(as in my blog) is officially dead.and no its not because she died of natural causes like stephanie mayers always says when she explains her character's actions as in she says her characters are alive in her head and she only writes them down as how her characters ask her to. i am not as crazy as her so i am telling everyone straight out that i have decided to kill Delilah in my blog. okay. dont charge me for murder yet. because Delilah is still alive and healthy in my writing book. but that you guys will never get to see as long as my confidence of my writings remain as low as right now which is very low.

okay. aku merepek.goodbye earthlings.

-mardy-

2009-02-28T12:09:00.002+08:00

Happy 8th birthday LUQMAN ARIFIN BIN MUSTAFFA!

may you be surrounded by love and blessings always! always the action smart among us four sibling, you are indeed smart. but its only because you got all the good genes from the whole family being the last! you got our cleverness, your dear sister's great taste in music, your brother ahmad's love for soccer, your brother umar's love for NCC(ihavenoideawhy) and ibu and ayah's hobby of always giving out compliments.

but you never fail to irritate the shit out of me as your elder brothers always do.hah!

-mardy-

wooo

2009-02-27T20:04:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings. i just got back from a slacking session with the loveloves. GOD, i was petrified when i saw my old teachers.

oh its been so freaking long since i saw them la okay. took some pichas but i'm just too freaking lazy to update.

i'm damn bored lah.Hana and Firi never update their blogs so onlining just decreased reasons by two. so how??

girls, lets hang out pleaaasssseeee.

-mardy-

OVERRRRRRRR

2009-02-26T09:13:00.003+08:00

okay people.wait for it.wait for it.

exams are freaking overrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo!

okay i'm gonna be spending my holidays eating,sleeping,watching dramas and maybe,just maybe, playing badminton.HAHA! hana? amacam? lets go play!!

okay so it was Slumdog Millionare for me, ta, firi and ky after paper. oh ohh.i love it okay! Dev Patel is darn hot lah! but he cant dance for nuts okay!heee.but whatever he is sucha a sweeheart! imagine he waited and loved one girl and only one girl all along?

i want that kinda boyfriend.=.='

okay so i have no plans except for the upcoming class chalet and oh that will be oh so damn fun lah!! lalalalalalalala..

so.people.anyone wanna take me out? =.=''

okay byebye.

-mardy-

hi hi

2009-02-23T20:55:00.002+08:00

i'm currently feeling um, weirdly, relaxed. cheh step besok takde exam jekk. okay okay, seriously my brain doesnt hurt that much when i'm doing math. because i dont have to memorise like ten bloody thick chapters like i have to with BNF.

oh shit. BNF.

FC was um no comments ah but okay ah actually. my dad asked me the routine how was your paper and i answered with the usual "okay ah.." and when i said i didnt know this question he asked me what was the question and-oh here's the convo lah!

dad: whats the question?

me: whats the missing compound bla bla bla..

dad: ohh.then what you put?

me: blablabla..but i dont think correct.

dad: issnt it copper oxide?

me: huh?? copper oxide?? thats not even EDIBLE!

dad: oh aah eh. *laughs loudly to himself thinking it's the funniest joke in the world.*

hmm.sometimes i wonder where i get my lame-ass funny jokes genes from. i got my answer just now. =.='

oh oh oh. mummy dearest(see how i'm biased i never put daddy dearest?hee.) read my story(no.not delilah) and she said it was GOOD. wooots!

ok ah thats all babies.love you!

-mardy-

2009-02-21T11:27:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY KAIYING!! =D

love you!

-mardy-

lalalala

2009-02-20T14:59:00.003+08:00

you better prayyyy..

omg. red jumsuit apparatus is like coming here!! i so love them lah okay.

okay so bmic paper was okay. not that easy but not that difficult. hee.although i did screw up the last question.

i had a really real dream last night. i dreamt i was pregnant. seriously. it was damn real lah i was like heavily pregnant and i waddled into the LT smiling. like i totally loved being pregnant. people were like eh mardy you pregnant ah? and i'm like yeah. duhh. and they were like whose the father and i'm like i dunno eh. i dun even care. all i cared about was that i was pregnant and i was gonna have a baby. now everybody say awwwww. then i woke up with my hand on my tummy.

ky said it was a sign that someone was gonna get pregnant. i sms-ed mummy dearest and told her she was gonna get pregnant again and she never reply. i think she scared ah.HEEHEE.

okay so we attempted to surprise ky just now since tmr's her birthday but alas, she found out. but whatever it is the cake was damn nice lah! credits to hana for buying it and bringing to school in her bag with people squashing the cake in the bus. i swear the bus was freaking packed lah. i was like standing at the freaking door. luckily nobody stinked so it was okay.

okay. i'm tired. toodle noodles babies.

-mardy-

help

2009-02-18T20:32:00.003+08:00

omg. i am overloaded. with carbohydrates and proteins and fats and broth agars and solid agars and differential,selective,enriched,general,specific medias. oh, not to mention the dry heat and moist heat ways of controlling bacterial growth which are autoclaving, pasteurisation, boiling and hot air sterilization and flaming and incinerating and oh got chemical ways also sadly, stupid sterilants, oxidizing agents, alcohols, phenols and it derivatives,halogens, halogenated phenols,acids and alkali, heavy metals and disinfectants.

no don't get me wrong. iam not typing all of this to sound sciencey.i actually sound like aa freaking nerd.

my brain is freaking overloaded!

yes. thats me. or my t-shirt at least. and the caption really speaks the truth at this point of time.but i really do want a nicer more dramatoc caption like umm...say, "come on and kill me baby" like that weird guy from idontknowwhatithinkbiomedicalscience coursealways wear. seriously, he has a thing for shirts with captions on them. the other time he wore a shirt which had SUCKER splashed on it.

weirdo.

oh damn. i'm supposed to be on hiatus arent i?

-mardy-

p/s: i'm starting to miss someone i really should not think of anymore. =.='

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“You can’t play on broken strings.”

James Morrison’s broken strings played for the umpteenth time on my mp3 player. I had set it on repeat mode. The lyrics made absolute sense in relation to what I was feeling. Frankly, I did not know what else to do. I felt tired. Tired of feelings that were one sided. Tired of hoping for something that I myself knew was never going to happen. That I knew was just a figment of my deprived imagination.
But I was also mystified. I had loved him for all my life. Ever since we were little kids. We had been best friends and he was always the person I confided everything in. and I was the same to him. Or so I thought. Why? Why him? What had he done that managed to steal my heart away? Was it his looks? No. I was never one who went for looks. But what? I had no answer for that.
I looked at my palms. My close friend had said I was a Fire person. This meant of all of the elements, I was under the fire category. She said the lines of my palms were very defined. I smiled to myself when I thought about that. I prided myself for being someone who was outspoken and passionate about my work. Maybe that’s how Fire people are. I was always myself around him. The usual fiery me. But it was when he started to go out with other girls that I turned to… snow-I guess, around him.
I had never told him how I felt. Never. I was always too shy. I could not tell him that I had never loved anyone else except him. Yes, I did have a few crushes but they were never as strong. Maybe that’s why he’s never assumed. Or even found out. Maybe, all it would take for him to turn to me and confess that he felt the same way was just to tell him how I felt. Who knows he had been keeping mum all this time?
Tears welled up in my eyes and threatened to spill onto my cheeks as I thought about it. Why is it that I get very emotional when I think of him? I did not know what I would do if I did not have my friends to distract me at school.
They had been my pillars of strength and the shoulders I could lean on whenever I was down. They were the ones who could make me smile through my tears. I made a decision then. I would pay more attention to my friends and minimize the time where I would think about him. I would focus more on the more important aspects of my life. His importance, I decided, would have to do at a lower level. I breathed a sigh of weariness and prayed I had the strength to do it.

2009-02-17T16:49:00.001+08:00

oh oh today was a bonus! i saw my peterpan eyecandy and green today. hee.

i'ma happy girl.

until i see my study notes that is.

oh damn. exams! heere i freaking come.

-mardy-

2009-02-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

omg omg. how could he not have made it?? the judges are freaking crazy lah okay? and what about cody sheldon? he is damn sweet lahh HELLLOOOOOO!!

ishh. the weather was freaking hot yesterday.like 34 freaking degrees celsius at what? 5 in afternoon!! but i went out anyways. to play badminton. hee.okay mugging is driving me insane. like seriously.

and i finally got broken strings in my phone.=DDDDD

i guess i wont be blogging much. exams are like on freaking friday.

wish me luck people. love you all.

-mardy-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning sunlight streamed into my room blinding my sleepy eyes. I pulled my comforter on top of me till it covered my face and opened my eyes. I was groggy for two seconds and then the reality of last night’s events crashed on me. With bitter reluctance I pushed myself up from my bed and got ready to face school.
How could I face him today? How could I keep up this act? Last night had been hard. Pain and bitterness burned my throat but I forced myself to smile and laugh and go along with it. That was my life around him. Full of false pretenses. How could he not see the way I felt? How could he sit there, look into my eyes with an intent gaze and still ask about others? God, what did I have to do to get him to understand? I was in pain. Pain. All because of him. I keep telling myself to stay away but for some unknown reason he kept me coming back for more.
I had given in last night. Pushing aside the hurt welling up inside my chest, I had given him her number. He had hugged me and gave me a cheerful “thanks!” “You’re a great friend!” so that was it. That was all I was to him. A friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.
It angered me to feel this way. To me, he was everything. My sunshine, my raindrop my happy, my sad. He and only he alone revolved around my universe. I was head over heels for him but I was just a mere friend, the go to girl for other girl’s numbers. I hated myself for letting me fall. Hated my heart to have open so wide for him. I hated the very fact that I loved him. The feeling made me feel that I was a little pathetic miserable girl who was desperate for the guythatdoesn’tevennoticesher’s attention. That’s how he made me feel. It insulted the feminist in me.
How long until I finally would see? That he was not the one for me. My heart and my mind had been fighting a raging battle inside of me leaving me torn between the two paths I should follow. My mind was telling me to do the right thing. To stop hurting myself because of him. The guy who doesn’t even take me seriously. What more did he have to give me? While my heart was telling me to keep on feeling what I felt no matter how it hurt. My heart believed that he would notice me eventually. And my heart still hoped for the happy ending it yearned for.So which do I follow? My heart or my mind? The right thing or the insane thing? These questions clouded my mind the whole day

2009-02-13T13:49:00.002+08:00

okay so i told ht i'd post this.

Love lockdown

My heart skipped a beat when I heard my phone ring. Hoping, expecting it would be him. “You free tonight?” was the message he had crafted, “uhuh.yep.why?” was my response. A few seconds rolled by and his answer came in “I’m feelin’ kinda lonely. Wanna hang out?” my smile could not have been wider as I replied.

The stars shone bright tonight. And my eyes were twinkling with laughter as we talked. He had taken me out to dinner. I was still finding it hard to believe my luck. Finally, would what I had been dreaming of come true? After all these years I’ve suffered in silence? Would he finally understand the pain that haunted my eyes whenever I saw him with another? Did he finally notice me after exhausting himself trying to find others? Has he finally stopped taking me for granted? Those were the questions I had in my mind. I wanted answers. The questions burned my tongue but I held my words. Because I wanted to enjoy this moment. The moment I had always been dreaming about. I wanted it to last. I wanted this memory to be forever etched in my mind. I did not ask those questions as I was afraid the answers were what I did not want to hear.

“So. What do I have to do to get her number from you?” he had asked with a lop sided, heart melting grin. Anger, hurt and humiliation washed down over me as I forced my suddenly stone hard lips into an even smile. I looked away. The pain was too much. I could barely keep from crying there and then but I was sure if he had seen my eyes, they would have betrayed my feelings.

I ran into my room and slammed the door as hard as I could. Tears running down my cheeks I yanked off my clothes and slid into my PJs. With his questions ringing in my head I grabbed my pillow and bit in it hard to stifle my sobs.

oh oh i'm in love with james morisson's broken strings. =D

2009-02-12T17:25:00.002+08:00

How long can I do this? How long do I have to live in fear of loneliness and misery? Waking up every morning knowing I have to take tentative steps around you. One innocent smile, an unintentional brush of skin was all it would take for my hard concealed secrets to pour out.
They say love hurts. I beg to differ. Love makes one happy. Possibly the happiest one will feel in his life. As they say, love makes the world go round. Love makes people care for each other, make people better themselves inside and out. Love gives people something to live for. Love is a beautiful thing. Now, loving and being unloved back, that hurts.
How long can I keep these feelings bottled up inside? How long before the silence betrays me? How long before my tongue is set loose and all of my heart comes pouring out? How long? If I don’t say it nor do I display it would you see it in my eyes? Would you hear the faint fluttering of my increased heartbeat with every accidental touch? Would you see the faint pink blush that creeps up my cheeks every time you look at me? Would you feel the sudden increase in body heat every time we’re side by side? Would you see the big heart with a cupid arrow in it in my mind?
These subtle things become so obvious. I can’t hold it in much longer. I keep hoping that it fades with time as everything does. But no. it keeps going the other way. With every day that passes, with every minute that flies by, my heart beats stronger, faster, yearning and hoping for your love.
Say you’ll love me too. Please. Whisper it softly into my ears. I just want to let it sink into my heart and seep through my entire body. I want to remember the feeling with every fiber of my being. The feeling of being loved.

okay. this has nothing to do with anyone i just wrote it out of boredom.stop rolling your eyes. i know it lame. its kinda dedicated to huiteng although she doesnt have to worry about being unloved. so many guys courting her EXCEPT the one she wants. now,everybody say awwww..

-mardy-

2009-02-11T16:09:00.002+08:00

whatthehell.i'm pissed.

you have absolutely no freaking right to comment on the way i look. assho*e

yeah i know i'm a fat cow so what? i'm fat but i'm happy. i know what to eat and what to avoid.i know how to eat healthy. i eat healthy. i snack. but not alot. i'm in the food science and nutrition course for goodness sake!!

stop making comments like as though i'm this obese woman walking around in tight fitting clothes and has her babats jiggling out. HELLO. i am a woman of sense. i have enough sense to know that showing off every single curve of my body is not only against my religious beliefs it is also OBSCENE.

ass you. speaking of which, i'll bet a million bucks that my ass is way hotter than yours. maybe thats why you're so jealous.

i love my curves and i'm proud of my butt.you have problem with that? go and die. it'll make the world a better place that way.

i wear tight jeans?? my jeans hug my butt so it wont jiggle but it is NOT freaking tight.bloody hell.then what do you expect me to wear?jeans that are three times bigger than my size?? you say if someone has a small ass than at least it looks nice. here's a newsflash : songs have been made about girls with bigh butts being liked. ever hear this? i like big butts and i cannot lie. i'm sure you have.

bloody hell.you're trying to bring me down by trying to destroy my self esteem. it aint working baby.you know why? because i do not give a freaking care what you think. the people who i love love me the way i am so a mere person like you who has no meaning in my life's comments are irrelevant. thankyou.

-mardy-

2009-02-10T21:30:00.001+08:00

omg people. what telah happen to rihanna and chris brown?

the world's falling apart.

haha.ok bye. i'm looking for recommended intakes for sodium.yay.

-mardy-

2009-02-09T20:53:00.002+08:00

hello world.

i'll make this short.

i am super tired.
my favourite black jeans just surrenderred to friction and is now holey
i have no idea what to wear for school tomorrow
i am super tired. oh wait i said that already.
i want a psp
apparently someone thinks i'm arrogant
and this person has no right whatsoever to say this
because we've never ever talked before
in my entire life
tomorrow's gonna be the start of a lovestory hopefully
and huiteng's still torn between her feelings
that is like so huiteng lah.
so many admirers
so little love to spare
haha
sorry Ht.i love you.
had csas just now.okay lah
but FC project interview was a freaking bitch
we ended up playing taboo at the bench
joined by leslie(disabled), ana and friends
we were the pioneers man.
amazing.
i thought i said i'll keep it short?
so okay then
see you later world.
night!

-mardy-

2009-02-07T17:34:00.002+08:00

a diva is a female version of a hustler.

i know you read the paper

the one they call a queen

every radio round the world know me

cos' that's where i be

now i want to be a diva.

-mardy-

2009-02-06T17:24:00.004+08:00

standing in the light of your halo, yeah i got my angel now.

i love my friends FYI. =D we completely won the bmic quiz and we got starbucks vouchers from Jeremy. OH MAN. i love his money. HAHA. so we went starbucks after school. sat slacked and laughed damn alot. Firi was being irritating and kept spitting ice at me. idioooooot. thanks ah fir. you think your saliva very nice issit???? Tarini kept spitting at me when she talked.like seriously people.do i have a sign that says spit spot written on me??????

firi say ta's eyes were horny.HAHAH.

i wanted to take picture with firi but ta decided to join in and manged to squeeze in 1/16th of her face in. HAHA.

she was damn happy she got her caramel frap lah.

firi was saying the coffee very strong.explains her face.

so we went off after laughing at some random guy running to the bustop with no shirt on. seriously.RANDOM. gosh. i laughed alot today. especially when mr.green went out of the toilet with a smile on his face. kaiying said he very happy get to shit ready cus before that he was constipated. i burst laughing hysterically with hana.

met Ruwaida on the way home. ohman. i miss my friends. gosh. i miss you all aljunied people.

=(( gosh. i freaking teared when i saw her lah.=(

okay babies. i'm done. =D

-mardy-

2009-02-05T17:14:00.002+08:00

bmic lab stinks. i was so freaking nervous lah hello. mr L was like literally beside me watching me do my serial dilution. like wth. my hand was shaking and my cap drop an the bench.bloody hell. youre NOT supposed to put your cap on the freaking bench. bloody bloody bloody hell.stupid mcconkey agar stupid methyl red. stupid everything.

on a brighter note though, i aced my french roleplay! uhuh uhuh. but next week must bring laptop.amakk. leceh lah okay.

oh oh oh, apparently stoopidd N said i liked his friend (whateverhisnameis) and that i said he was hot. um. excuse me? i don't even know he existed until eunice pointed him out to me. seriously. i have NO, absolutely NO freaking interest in any i reapeat ANY chemical engineering guys. even shorty. (his reflection maybe. *inside joke*) now, gimme Biomedical Science guys and i'll swoon baby. AHAH. oh EXCEPT FOR AFRO. thankyouverymuch. smart guys are sexy man. especially during exam time. okay. mardy random.

okay.so FC labreport deadline extended and i still have FC project interview. BAHH.when is this gonna freaking end??????

-mardy-

2009-02-04T18:26:00.002+08:00

ohmygodtomorrowislikebmiclabpracticaliamsofreakingoutlahhello.

yesyesyes.freakingout.

okay so saw mr green who turns out to be mr checkers today and he had on COLOURED CONTACTS. GREY to be exact. damnn. i hate guys who wear coloured contacts.they look so effing gay. why is it that i always ALWAYS whatever mardy.

so apparently all the chem eng people (apes) ok being a bitch.sorry. all of them call me mardy.yes MARDY. um. excuse me? i don't know if you guys know this but i kind off just know you guys as leslie's friends? thankyouverymuch.so please.its mardhiyah to you.

ohh. i have no freaking idea why i am making this fuss about it. actually it doesnt really matter.

yes.okay.go ahead and call me MARfreakingDEE.

i screwed uo bnf interview.lucky we pass overall. whaetveeeerrrrr okay.no comments that couls be said without expletives here.

okay babies. time crunch those lab manuals! yayy.

-mardy-

2009-02-02T18:21:00.004+08:00

i am freakin tired.

LAH.

i cant wait for the bloody exams to freakin finish and go for the chalet.oh damn.got csas prac exam siak.

i think i need a sugar/adrenaline/energy/chocolate/vanilla/strawberry/orange/apple/pear/papaya/afrofriend rush.

woooo.

yesterday the mother said something:

her: kakak, see there boy boy hold hand.

me: *crook,crook* do you have any idea how childish that sounds??

seriously.my mum can go bonkers at times.

we saw afro at the comp lab.

spot him? i'm sure you do.

HAHA!

-mardy0-

i love you

2009-01-30T18:34:00.003+08:00

thank you God.thank you so so so much.=D

i love you and i promise i'll be good.=D

okay. i fell so freaking guilty lahh. i was craving for double chocolate from mccafe and so me, Ht and Hana went to TM with the very different intentions.

Me: to get my double chocolate

Hana: To go cotton on and buy double chocolate

HuiTeng: go mini toons buy her handphone thingy

well guess what? the three of us ended up being sucked into cotton on and although we were determined not to buy anything the temptation was too great. Oh man. see lah. cotton on is our common weakness.D=

gahh.okay now i'm sitting here with my skirt tucked right up to my armpits and typing this with eyes that looked like i had cried for the past week.

firi applied eyeshadow on me and she busily blended and brushed on my eye lids and i came out looking like whoaa. i think only firi thought i looked nice.HAHA. sorry fir. maybe it was the lt lighting. i'm just gonna stick to white okay?

tell me why it's so hard to foget don't remind me..

i'm in love with archuleta's song. huh.

ehh.so long never see mr.green lah okay?

hana n ht managed to see him when he was conveniently beside who else but Afro.

HAHA. so long never see afro know.his my source of entertainment.HAHAHAHA!!

eh. my sentence started and ended with HAHAHA.

HAHA.

omg.thats FUN LAH. HAHA.

okay. FC report due on monday and i havent even started.sheeeeshhh.not to mention stoopid CSAS learning journal.bleaarrggh.

byebye

-mardy-

2009-01-29T19:46:00.002+08:00

her head felt heavy with the thoughts that burdened her mind. quizzes, exams and the monstorous thing that had happened the night before. it's so easy to forget, she sighed. so easy to sleep and feel that what happened was all a dream. every little tiny thing, a word, a picture or a tear, could bring back flashes of last nights events into her head.

the fact stubbornly remained that it had happen. and nothing could change that fact. she saw the aftermath of the words that had been said, markings had been left both physically and emotionally. anger, hurt, dissapointment and fear ran deep in the veins of everyone except the little one. ignorance is bliss in this instance. how she wished she could have it.

the girl closed her eyes which were tired from weeping. sighing, thinking, deliberating wether anything was going to be the way it used to. she took quiet breaths, hoping fervently and praying her life would not fall apart. they were what she lived for. they were her life.

she smiled when she thought about school that day. her friends had made the day easier to get through. though the problem kept bugging her, her friends made her push it to the back of her mind. in the midst of all her prayers for everything to be alright, she said a silent thanks to the Almighty for sending her the people who surrounded her.love shone through her heart and tears of joy and content filled her heart.

i know He will make everything alright. i know.

i love you girls.ALOT.

-mardy-

2009-01-28T20:06:00.002+08:00

i'm scared.

please.please.please tell me everything's gonna be the way it used to be.

please God.

i beg you.

i know i've earned a reputation of being the girl who only turns to you when i'm in need.

but i've changed.i have.believe me please!

help me.help us all.

2009-01-28T18:00:00.002+08:00

there will be hell to pay. i am NOT kidding. and it does not help that i am having a stupid freaking quiz and that i have to finish my stupid stupid DinC project.

oh F**K the perfect timing lah !!

dammit.

why???why??why??

why did you have to do that?

and oh one more thing, since this is an angry post i'd better post this.

i know the person wont be reading this even in a million years time, but i dont care.she acts like a really really really selfish person when we're around. its like shes the only one who is having trouble accepting the fact! like HELLO. open your eyes and smell the freaking coffeeeee lllahhhh!!!

it doesnt help that she makes it so f**king obvious that she doesnt care about our company! i know! she just likes her own people better right? you say you dont care but deep down you really do! all of us.ALL OF US. we SEE the way you treat us and the way you treat them. you talk to them and you laugh with them. but us? NO. HELL NO. you never even talk to US. werent we the ones who usually came regularly? we STILL FREAKING DO! what is it gonna take for you to freaking SEE what we've done??

seriously.it's come to a point where its easy for me to hate you.i used to be ashamed of that but i'm now past the point of caring.hating you is easy.too easy.and its because you made it easy for us. people think we're young and we dont notice.or that we dont care. well here's a freaking newsflash:

its because we're young, that we see.

its because we're young, that we understand.

its because we're young, that it hurts.

its because we're freaking young that people don't give a damn what we feel.

*expletives strung in a whole sentence*

god.when will you people realise this stuff is hurting us??

i hate this part.

bleeding on the inside, crying on the out.

no wait,make that faking laughter on the out.

-mardy-

2009-01-27T16:02:00.002+08:00

the power lines went out

i am all alone

i dont really care at all

not answering my phone

all the games you played

the promises you made

cant finished what you started

only darkness still remains

lost i couldnt see

when it was you and me

blow the candles out

looks like a solo tonight

i'm beginning to see the light

blow the candles out

looks like a solo tonight

but i think i'll be alright..

power lines

2009-01-26T20:32:00.002+08:00

hola! i know i havent been updating properly and that the previous two posts were about Delilah so here goes a proper update!

ohh.i'm in love with my blog song. its by Hey Monday. i tell you it is freaking awesome la HELLO!

me n Hana were like eh, today got eclipse right? and we were like googling the stuff online.HAHAH.

jakun sia.

atiqah! i know you're here! tag lahh okay? I MISS YOU and the rest. =(

i got march holidays meet up soon okay babies?

i love you all.

oi tix where'd you go lah. i buzz you than you know.

HAHA.

okay buzzed.

firi hasnt been updating.enjoying your holidays too much fir?

ohhhh. went to play badminton just now and hell it was damn fun.nevermind that there were stoopidd matreps sitting there with their caps clinging on to dear life on their heads staring at the crazy tudung girl playing badminton with her brother.

what?? never play badminton before isssit??

someone should plok their freaking caps down properly on their heads.haiss.so old still dunno how to wear cap.HOW?

idiots.

relax dee.matreps arent worth your time.uhuh uhuh.affirmative.

played basketball/netball after that. it was super FUN lah. i miss playing netball.even though i suck.=P

oh.so now i feel good about my boddaayyy so i'm not that guilty when mummy dearest said she cooked turkish rice with chickkaaayyynn for dinneeerr. i love you forever mother.i swear.=D

well you done done me and you bet i felt it

i tried to be chill

but you're so hot that i melted

i fell right through the cracks

and now i'm tryina get back.

-mardy-

2009-01-26T10:35:00.000+08:00

Delilah updated. =D

i need feedbackeroos!

-mardy-

2009-01-25T15:15:00.003+08:00

i have officially gone mad. i started writing. i mean i have been thinking of writing for a long long long time and what better way to start than with a blog?

so i've created a new blog that i tell my story in. seriously. go there if you really have nothing to do. a warning though, i am no Stephanie Meyer, J.K. Rowling or J.R.R Tolkien or even Enid Blyton.

if you think my story is crap then dont bother but seriously if you think it is even 0.0000001 percent good. tell me. i've only written one chapter and it kind off keeps you in the dark about the whole picture but its like a sneak peak into the world of my character Delilah.

i love you guys.=D

and oh!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to my chinese friends especially KY and HT. Love y'all loads! =D

and oh,the link to my other blog is

http://mardystorytime.blogspot.com

thankyou!

-mardy-

2009-01-23T18:03:00.002+08:00

love lockdown.

hahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i got nothing to say about bmic quiz 2.nothing.zilch.nada.zero.KOSONG.okay.no comments.

some girl was caught cheating.stoopidd.

hahahaha.i notice my posts are kinda random lately.inspired ahh.by the other blogs that i read.HAHA.

jeremy was being a complete angel in tutorial and ended up being his old un-angel like self during the quiz.

and oh,oh,people,if you have disgusting scars on your back that were made just because you needed to get your blood circulation right,please do NOT bare your back.

i'm talking about thise acupuncture scars.EW EW.

i know you think by doing that youre a DIVA.NO.hell no.

being a Diva means getting attention the right way and not by baring your uglllaaayyy back scars.

i know a Diva when i see one.Divas are smart people okay.oh well,it takes one to know one!

ahem.

HAHAH.no lah.i am no diva.i'm just the funniest person in the whole world.yes?

hah.i bet the girls are shaking theior heads and going "yeahhh.right mardy."

-mardy-

2009-01-21T20:57:00.002+08:00

omg.i have tons of things to DO:

D in C project two museum of our future
study for Bmic quiz2 which is on freaking friday
study for FC quiz 2
study for maths quiz 2
do FC tutorial on freaking proteins
go get some freaking exercise this week
stop coughing my tonsils out
print out bmic lab manual for tomorrow.

shit man.bmic lab sucks.oh man oh man.

Hana broke down today.she was damn stresssseeeedddd OUTT and couldnt take it no more.

"i can't think properly and i have so many things to do!and plus i have a big headache"

gawd.how true how true.school is like draining the energy out of me lah okay?i have soo many freaking things to do but my mind is still on recovery mode from my fever.like FISH lah okay.

i still can't stop coughing.and it doesnt help that the germies caught up with Firi.

oh we're all falling into the hole of school work,exams,no social life and depression.

oh wait.NO.we have each other right?

so c'mon we'll get through this really annoying phase and then two months of well deserved holidays.thankyouverymuch.=D

oh,this really irritatingkindaslapintheface happened.some guy who was well the director of the soup spoon came to give a talk.stoopid itell you when this malay girl asked: "why don't you make it Halal certified?i like soup but i cant eat there either." to which he responded to :"oh,we are considering that bla bla bla...but i kind of notice some muslims don't really mind and they just tend to avoid the soups that don't contain pork."

few seconds then BOOMM! the stoopid stooopid idiotic insensitive BCS people went "oooooooHHHH!!!!"

f**k you all seriously.

that guy must really have CSAS.i'd recomend ms Lee as his freakin teacher.=D

ok wow.long post sia.HAHA.bye!

-mardy-

2009-01-20T17:41:00.002+08:00

oh man. i'm finally free of freakin Design in freaking Culture.like woooohooooo! but still got project to submit.BAHH!

oh,you know what? i think i'm crushing.uh-oh.

quiz two mania starting soon.like alaamaaakkk.irritating.

got lab report must do got stoopid csas worksheet like fish lah.then must do peer evaluation like dammit okay.

okay.picture above was editted by me on picnik.com

love lockdown.

okay.merepek.byebye.

-mardy-

just freakin DANCE!

2009-01-19T20:40:00.003+08:00

i am freakin sad about my URL lah.

okay today was.ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

it was really a mixed kinda day. but i guess the girls prolly thought i had a good time considering the fact that i was high the whole freakin day.

ah.i was so pissed at lab when the stupid titrations had to be freakin done and the stupid chloroform burned my nose.like IDIOTT LAH OKAY FISH BALL IRRITATING NAK MAMPOS.

dammit. dammit .dammit.

oh,did i mention i put ice in Leslie's labcoat pocket and he complained that his moob (man boob)

was contracting.talk about merepek.but it made me laugh until i teared and laugh again and then teared back at the thought of titrating bread (okay bedek ah.)

i spent three freakin hours on the freakin phone last night with L and i was kind of zombified.

i wonder how many radioactive waveswent through my hair.no wonder so dry.

chet.it was that once only dee.stop freakin exagerating.

leslie but so big sia.okay.i'm talking crap.

talkingabout crap,somebody said this:''what's talking crap?it is not a form of conversation."

=.=

WHATEVER.oh god.i was so pissed just now i let it all out infront of my stunned unexpectimg dad who greeted me with a smile.HAHA.baek kappe.

okay ah.i talk crap somemore tomorrow okay?bye

-mardy-

dollar dollar bill yaw

2009-01-17T16:21:00.002+08:00

"are you eightteen?"

"no."

"um.okay,then must wear tight tight shoes to maintain your feet size okay?"

"why?"

"cos your feet size is 11 already."*smiles*

seriously.my brother has GIANT feet.until the cute salesperson was like size 11??

hahahah.

oh i feel soo baadd for last night.=(

-mardy-

4 out of 10

2009-01-17T16:13:00.003+08:00

okay,i'm about to say something that i thought i would never have to say out loud.

i love my brothers no matter what and no matter how irritating they can be, i will be here for every single one of you whenever you need to talk to someone who wont immidiately scold you for doing something wrong.i will listen and i will understand. reason being i have gone through what you guys are going through and i know how it feels to feel pressurised and how stressed out you can be at everyone's freaking expectations.i understand.and thats all you need to know.i'm here if you need to talk,and i will tell you what you should do if you want whats best for you.but i'm giving you a heads up that whatever my advice,it will confirm be similar to what you do not want to hear.but unlike those people who nag and nag and nag,i will get to the point and let you let it all out.yes.me,your dearest beloved and only most amazing sister, will be here.

-mardy-